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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29296272">Untitled Document Number 44</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peepapeep/pseuds/Peepapeep'>Peepapeep</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Danganronpa Infinite Chase</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Grief/Mourning, Guilt, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Suicidal Thoughts, Survivor Guilt, Yearning, gay people /derogatory, he doesnt do anything but uhhhh, no beta we die like men, tagging just 2 b safe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 06:47:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>637</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29296272</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peepapeep/pseuds/Peepapeep</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>what do you do when you miss someone you never really knew?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>(one sided), elliot graham/gyn powell</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Untitled Document Number 44</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Elliot laid on his back, silent as his fingers traced over the bandage on his face. It was not colorful or special in any real way, and the cut underneath it had healed. It was scarred, yes, but healed. There was no need for a bandage to lay on it any longer. </p><p>But still, it remained. Long had it stayed past its use, but still, it remained. A reminder of worse times. Of better times, maybe. Maybe things were better back then, on the train. Maybe things were better when Gyn had his hands on his face, even through the costume. Maybe things were better when he was up in the morgue, smashing the glass in, as if it would bring the two any closer. Maybe things were better when he could peer through glass windows and rooftops to watch gyn and his brother scheme about what they were to do with him. Like an annoying rodent fascinated with the shiny bell on the cat’s collar, he couldn’t keep himself away.</p><p>He lived. He made it off the train. He really shouldn’t have, he thinks. He killed enough people. He was working with the enemy. But did it ever really count as working together, if all the two of them did was sleep? He only joined her side to live, anyways. He saw what would happen if he didnt. So he joined her side, to spare his own soul.</p><p>Elliot finds himself regretting that decision often.</p><p>He could’ve lived without joining her. Without putting everyone else through the hell he did. He could’ve pleaded for someone else to save him. Or maybe he shouldn’t have pleaded at all. He wishes he could go back in time and break his own throat, sobs coming up hoarse as he would finally be able to join his beloved.</p><p>Perhaps the only thing keeping him here is the worrying thought that maybe they don’t want him.</p><p>The man lifts himself off the couch, dragging his body full of stones up the stairs, until he was staring into the bathroom mirror. His fingers feel his face, circling the edge of the bandage quietly, the only thoughts in his mind full of shadows and poisoned blood. Of cherry pits and hot drinks and images of his father and his mother and magnus and gyn and all the people he honestly wishes he could forget. Because then it would be easier. He would be alone and sad and it would be so much easier because he already is anyways.</p><p>He feels bad for missing gyn like this. He feels bad for wishing he had stayed. They weren’t friends. They weren’t lovers. Barely even work acquaintances. Gyn had not abandoned him, just as you do not abandon the stop sign after you are done waiting and allow yourself to continue down the road. He always knew anything he felt would be one sided, and he had two years to prepare for his absence. As if his presence in his life was any difference.</p><p>But it was. He felt it. And he missed him. And it hurt. </p><p>He quietly ripped off the bandage. It was not the momentary sting that brought him to tears, but the realization that he was losing the one thing of gyn’s he had. He was throwing away the only sign they ever knew each other into the bathroom waste bin.</p><p>His laugh was wet as he crumpled it up and threw it away, eventually it faded into a sob as his body slid down the wall and onto the ground, and then nothing as he was left with a hollow emptiness in his soul.</p><p>He thought the pain would last longer. Or that he would feel closure. Or relief.</p><p>But he just feels nothing. Less than nothing.</p><p>What does that mean?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>just an elliot drabble for the soul</p></blockquote></div></div>
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